


Hell is Leaving the Light On

by Auxvia



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-09
Packaged: 2018-02-24 18:56:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2592620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Auxvia/pseuds/Auxvia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oneshot, spoilers for 5x01/5x02. Tig/Chibs angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hell is Leaving the Light On

**Author's Note:**

> Oneshot covering post-Dawns death. Title taken from Oh Darlin' by the White Buffalo, which is pretty much my favorite song featured on the show. Super sappy but whatever

They buried Dawn that night.

It was out in the woods, just Chibs, Tig, Bobby, and Jax. Tig insisted on digging most of the grave, tears streaming down his face as he worked his shovel into the dirt. The grave had been deep enough 20 minutes ago, but Tig didn't seem intent on stopping, not wanting to really have to bury his daughter. Jax finally nodded at Chibs, and Chibs climbed down into the hole, pressing a comforting hand against Tigs' back.  
"It's time." He said quietly, reaching forward to take the shovel from Tig. "Come on."  
He boosted Tig out of the hole, Bobby and Jax reaching down to help him out before doing the same to Chibs. Chibs hung back with Tig as Bobby and Jax went to retrieve the body from the car.  
"You okay, love?" He murmured, pressing his forehead to Tigs', already knowing the answer. Tig sniffled, tears still dripping down his face as he moved his head to press it into the crook of Chibs' neck, his hand fisting Chibs' cut.  
Jax carried Dawn's body over to the grave. When he made a move to put her in, Tig broke free of Chibs. "Let me say goodbye." He reached for Dawn.  
"Yeah." Jax nodded, letting Tig take her and slowly kneel to the ground, cradling her body to him in the exact position he'd been in earlier. Jax walked over to Chibs.  
"We can't stay here." He murmured. "We need to be on lockdown."  
"I know." Chibs said quietly, not wanting to be the one to force Tig to let go of his daughter. He lit a cigarette, taking a long, slow drag. "Give 'im a minute." Jax nodded.  
When Chibs finally finished his cigarette, he dropped it to the ground, crushing it under his heel and headed over to Tig. He knelt down in front of him, placing a hand on one of Tig's trembling ones. "We gotta go, Tiggy." Tig shook his head as he started crying again, harder this time, slow, sick sobs escaping his mouth. "I know." Chibs murmured, squeezing Tigs' hand. Jax stepped forward, crouching down as well to rub a hand against Tigs' back, tugging on his arm to get him to relinquish his grip on his dead daughter.  
"No." Tig begged, jerking his arm back, his face a mess of tears and ashes. "No, please, just a little longer..."  
"Tig, we gotta go." Jax said quietly, already knowing that reasoning wasn't going to work.  
"Please."He sobbed. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Dawns, brushing a kiss on her cheek.  
"Tig, I'm going to take Dawn, okay?" Jax said, Tig still shaking his head and sobbing. "Chibs is gonna stay with you." He glanced over at the scot, who nodded. "Come on." He murmured, but Tig wouldn't let go, was pressing his daughter to his chest and crying so hard it didn't seem like he could breathe.  
"Chibs, hold him." Jax said, trying to hold back his own emotions as Chibs got up, moving behind Tig so he could pull back his arms. Tig fought back desperately, "No-" He begged. "No, no..." Chibs pulled Tig back so he was pressed against him, back-to-chest. He firmly pulled back Tig's arms, allowing Jax to reach forward and take Dawn from his lap. Tig collapsed against Chibs, who held him tightly.  
"Easy, easy." He murmured, stroking Tigs hair as he cried openly. Bobby averted his eyes, instead helping Jax lower her into the grave.  
"She was screaming my name." Tig whispered through the tears.  
"I know."  
"I asked him to kill me. He wouldn't kill me, Chibs."  
"It's okay, Tiggy."  
"Kill me."  
"Tig..." Chibs lamented quietly.  
"Please."  
"I ain't gonna kill ya."  
"I deserve it. I'm the reason she's dead. My baby..."  
Chibs didn't respond to that, just held on tightly to his brother as he turned his head to cry into his sleeve. They sat together silently as Jax and Bobby kicked the mound of dirt back into the hole, covering up Dawn.

Getting Tig into the truck was another undertaking altogether. He was half-catatonic with grief, could barely stand on his own. He buckled when Jax and Chibs pulled him to his feet, and they had to sling his arms over their shoulders and half-carry him back to the truck. There wasn't a lot of room in the front seat, but it didn't seem to matter anyways. Tig was halfway onto Chibs' lap, and neither of them seemed to have any intention of letting go. The truck cab was silent except for the muffled sound of Tig breathing raggedly into Chibs' cut. It ended up being equally difficult to get him into Diosa. Gemma looked scandalized when they walked in with Tig slung between their shoulders.  
"Is he drunk?" She asked them. Chibs shot her a look, depositing Tig onto a couch and letting Jax pull her aside to tell her what happened. It wasn't a bad idea. He got the attention of one of the girls.  
"Whiskey." He told her, and she took a quick glance at Tig before hurrying to the bar, not asking any questions. When she handed Chibs the glass, he pressed it to Tigs' lips. "Drink."  
Tig drained the glass in a single swig. Chib took the glass from him, placed it on one of the tables. "How 'bout we get ya t' bed?"  
Tig nodded, standing slowly. He wavered on the spot, and Chibs slid under his arm, silently offering him support. The two of them walked slowly to one of the 'therapy rooms' at Diosa. Chibs arbitrarily picked a room, swinging the door open and half-carrying him to bed, leaving the lights off. Tig slid onto the mattress, pressing his face into one of the pillows. Chibs sat down on the edge of the bed, working at the laces on Tig's boots. He plunked the boots down on the floor when he was finished, next peeling off his socks.  
"Y'want somethin' ta help ya sleep?"  
Tig nodded into the pillow. Chibs patted his leg, then got up to go find Gemma.  
"Don't leave." Tig said quietly, his voice muffled. Chibs paused.  
"I'll be right back."  
"Don't."He pleaded, his voice pained.  
Chibs stood there for a moment, looking down at Tig. He'd seen Tig in dark places, sure. He'd seen Tig so strung out of his mind on cocktails of drugs that he could barely remember who he was, couldn't even hold his head up to inevitably vomit it up when his body rejected the chemicals. He'd seen Tig when his father died, when the conflict of emotions and memories was so much that he ended up locking himself in his apartment and drinking for a week straight, only coming out when Chibs told him he'd strip his bike for parts if he didn't get his ass on it.  
This was different, though. The despair and self-hatred was practically radiating off him. Chibs sat back down, slowly stroking Tig's ankle. "Not goin' anywhere, Tiggy." He said, sending a quick text to Gemma. Tig just nodded into the pillow, shifting slightly so his leg was pressed against Chibs. He thankfully seemed to have finished crying, now just breathing slowly and raggedly into the pillow. He didn't react when the door slowly swung open, Gemma peering in laden with a baggie and a glass of water. Her face fell as she saw the way Tig was curled on the bed, and she walked over to him, crouching beside the bed and stroking his hair with a gentle hand.  
"Y'need something to sleep?" She asked, her eyes flicking to Chibs for confirmation. Tig nodded into the pillow. "Sit up, baby." She instructed, helping him up so his back was resting against the headboard. His normally bright blue eyes were dull and dead, and Gemma sighed, pulling two pills out of the bag. Tig didn't ask what they were, simply dropped them into his mouth and took a swig from the glass she offered him. She ran a hand through his hair, and he leaned into her touch, his eyes closing briefly. "Go to sleep." She told him gently. He nodded, returning to his previous position. Gemma pressed a kiss to Tig's head, then shot Chibs a worried look. Chibs just shook his head.  
Gemma stood up. "Stay with him." She told Chibs quietly. He nodded, watching her as she left and quietly closed the door behind her. He sighed, looking at the dark mess of curls that was Tig's head. He took off his own boots as well, leaving them beside Tig's as he stood up. "Come on, brother." He said quietly, easing Tig out of his cut and draping it on the nightstand. Tig's jeans were probably going to be the biggest problem, and he reached over to undo his belt. Tig didn't react beyond shifting to give Chibs better access, allowing him to tug down his jeans until he was just in a t-shirt and boxers. Chibs then pulled the covers over him, neatly tucking him in the way he used to do to Kerianne when she was too young to remember. He walked around the bed, climbing in on the other side. The bed dipped as he got in, pulling the sheets over himself. Normally he wouldn't get into bed with Tig unless he was sure they wouldn't be caught, but he felt this time was an exception. He reached out for Tig, pulling slightly on his shoulder until Tig rolled over, scooting until he was pressed against Chibs. This close, he could feel the way Tig was trembling.  
"Oh, Tiggy..." He said softly, brushing a kiss to his forehead. Tig inhaled sharply, one of his hands tightly clenching the cotton of Chibs' t-shirt, twisting it in his hand. He gave a soft, broken sob, and Chibs pulled him closer until Tig was half on-top of him, his head resting on his chest, his leg thrown over Chibs'. Chibs wrapped his arm around Tig, holding on tightly. "S'gonna be okay." He said, even though it really wasn't. He continued to murmur things quietly to Tig until he finally cried himself to sleep, tears still drying on his cheeks as the pills finally kicked in. Chibs lay there, listening to the soft, slow breathing of his lover and brother and friend all twisted together. Things weren't going to be okay. But at least for now the two of them were safe and warm, and they would deal with the pain in the morning.


End file.
